1
joke tym!!!!! on 2008-02-25, 02:46
rhaymart
Host : How would you like me to address you?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
Host : So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.
Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can't why, why can't I!
Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
*****
(At a gay beauty contest..)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading...... ano nga po ulit yung question?
Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
*****
Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : Si Melanie Marquez po!
Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause..) I don't have a motto, eh.
(So the crowd starts helping her out. The audience starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up.
(Then the girl turns and walks away.)
Host : So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?
Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala!
Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (The audience starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.
Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Mmmm... a bumble bee!
Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po one word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!
Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : Which works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam, eh.
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na po sya, eh.
Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal po, eh!
Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
Host : So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.
Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can't why, why can't I!
Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
*****
(At a gay beauty contest..)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading...... ano nga po ulit yung question?
Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
*****
Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : Si Melanie Marquez po!
Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause..) I don't have a motto, eh.
(So the crowd starts helping her out. The audience starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up.
(Then the girl turns and walks away.)
Host : So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?
Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala!
Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (The audience starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.
Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Mmmm... a bumble bee!
Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po one word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!
Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : Which works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam, eh.
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na po sya, eh.
Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal po, eh!
Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?
